i'm a good guy. leave me alone.

I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!  (Galatians 2:21)

Well, you know, I’m a pretty good guy myself, you know. I don’t lie too much, not bad lying anyway. Just little white lies so as to not hurt people’s feelings or do stuff I don’t want to do.

I don’t steal. I mean, I fudge a bit on the income tax, but who doesn’t. And yes, I did forget to pay for that case of Cokes that was under the buggy that I didn’t notice until I got out in the parking lot. They should have been more observant.

But, overall, I am pretty good.

Of course, I do have a pen collection that I got from the office, and I drive pretty fast. The speed limit is kind of a guideline, isn’t it? I have never cheated on my wife. I usually keep myself occupied with my porn links on the computer, but that isn’t really adultery. I sure don’t kill anyone, even that stupid piece of junk guy at work that I wish would have a heart attack. I probably wouldn’t kill him. Maybe wound him pretty bad.

I’m not that bad. You can find guys worse than me at every WalMart. What a bunch of losers!

I think God will not look too bad on me. In fact, I have been meaning to go to church again soon. And anytime I do go, I always drop a ten-spot in the plate. I’m not made of money, you know.

Grace? I guess for those who need it. But I am pretty good myself, if I say so myself. All my friends say so. On Saturday nights, when we’re getting hammered down at the club, they all speak highly of me. Especially when I buy a round for the house.

Jesus? A good guy, yessir. I say his name a lot. God’s name, too.

Who was he? He was the sonagod. Who else? Who was he, ha! I know that kind of stuff. After all, my parents crammed church down my throat all my life. I got all that stuff. I let my kids choose whether to go to church or not. And they’re okay. When Bill gets out of prison, he has a good job waiting for him at the bakery. And as soon as Jack gets through with this IRS foolishness, he will do fine. Last time I heard from Margaret, she was fine. She was living with a good guy.

Why did Jesus die? To save us from our sins, of course. You must think I am a moron. I know all that stuff. I can even say most of the New Testament books too. I get kind of hung up at the last part, but in general, I’m not stupid or ignorant.

Why did Jesus die? I don’t know. God told him to, I guess. For pete’s sake.

Would you leave me alone. I am fine. Go find some sinner to hassle. I’m busy.