daily java

Daily Java: A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!  (Proverbs 15:23)

Nothing is much worse that saying the first thing that comes to your mind and it turning out to be the wrong thing. It has always been a problem of my own and it is one I have always hated. If it were not for the fact that I am so absolutely big, I would have gotten hit several times when I was younger.

But to say the right thing, something that helps someone. The ability and opportunity to say the right thing and an encouraging thing to someone who needs it is a gift from God. It is something that makes you feel good, and helps you minister to someone when they need it. It isn’t a flip remark, it is a comment that comes from a heart of love. And it is good.

I really believe that having enough of the mind of God inside you makes that happen. I have an awful lot of the word of God inside me. But when I was younger, I always seemed to lack discernment. I don’t know many who can match me for knowledge, but knowledge doesn’t matter when you lack discernment. Discernment is that which causes you to see what you say through a filter, to weigh your words before you say them.

That is just plain hard.

The writer of the book of James said that we can harness any creature known to man, but we cannot harness our own tongues. And it is true. Such a small organ in our bodies, yet it causes so much pain and hurt.

But it can also heal so much. An apt reply can do a lot. I have gained the ability to defuse situations through the years, mainly by just not talking. Someone is angry or confrontational and I usually just stand and listen. Sometimes the silence is an apt reply. Sometimes you just interject a soft or soothing word, or even a word of sympathy or empathy, or even the noncommittal grunt that you learn to do as a counselor.

A lot of times it is body posture that is the apt reply. Since I am over 6 feet tall and am large, I have had to learn to stand differently with some people. Cocking the head a little, bending over a little –  all these lessen a confrontational stance and help people realize you are not going to fight them or condemn them. I always thought it was great the way Christopher Reeve lessened his size when he was Clark Kent, just by standing differently. It made him unrecognizable to a degree. Just standing differently can have such an impact on people.

The classic condemnation stance –  standing straight and looking down your nose at someone – does a lot of harm. You recall that Jesus never condemned anyone except for those who made it their job to condemn (Matthew 23). He was one that people could talk to and know that even though he did not approve of their lifestyle, he still loved them.

There is that old song that has a line “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.” Someone the other day suggested that Superman was the guy that if somebody tugged on his cape, he would look around to see if he needed help. That is the apt reply, the timely word, the desire and ability to help someone by a good and comforting word.

That apt reply and timely word is the answer of the presence of the word of God and his love in your life coming out to help others. And it can be beautiful in action.

I strive daily for it. Maybe I can get it before I die.