For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. (Philippians 1:20-22)There does come a point in your life when you get tired and are ready to be through. It is not that you seek death, or anything weird like that, but you just are through.
That is what happened to John, the apostle, when he said at the end of the book of Revelation: He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!” .Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!
He was ready. He was old and tired and just ready.
And I think that sometimes myself. I am solidly in my 60’s now and have stuff wrong with me. Just general stuff, of course, not cancer or the like. At least, I don’t think so. But then again, sometimes Ella looks at me oddly. Maybe she knows something I don’t.
Anyway, I am probably fine. But I am also at the point that if God took me, I would be glad.
The only problem is that my wife would be alone. I also would not have any more chances to witness to my son and my grandson. I would not be able to help Pastor Mel understand hard passages of scripture and show him the other hand.
The thing is, leaving my own wonderful and valuable indispensability behind, there are things I need to do. For one thing I would leave my wife and who would lift her scooter into and out of the car? I am our primary cook, so she would end up eating junk or –blecch – frozen dinners.
I would not be there for my son or to see my grandson, Brody, grow up. I would rather give him stuff than have him inherit them. I’d like to watch his eyes when I give him my broadsword, or the other stuff I plan to unload – I mean bestow on him.
Other people I would not be able to touch if I were dead.
That is what the apostle Paul was talking about. There were people he wanted to touch, to teach, to talk to. Places he wanted to see. Ideas he wanted to pursue.
And he couldn’t do it if he were gone. All he would be would be happy in the presence of Jesus in heaven.
I don’t know. That doesn’t sound so bad, though. But I know how he felt.
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