i've been so many places in my life and time

I have seen something else under the sun  The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. (Ecclesiastes 9:10-12)

That old song: I've been so many places in my life and time, I've sung a lot of songs, I've made some bad rhymes, keeps coming to mind for me lately.

I have been everywhere, pastored churches almost coast to coast for almost 40 years. I got a chance to see a little bit of Europe when I was young, even got the chance to take Ella there too for a few months. I have lived in so many different cultures here in the US, each of which considered themselves to be the elect of God, the normal people of the world.

And I think I am tired.

When I was younger, I had wanderlust, itchy feet. I felt the need to go, to move. I suppose that if I had lived then, I would have gone on the Oregon Trail or just west to the mountains.

It was just as well I didn’t. A lot of men left their wives and families behind to “find their fortunes” and got waylaid somehow. Maybe they got killed, or life just hijacked them in some way.

But for a guy who was limited to a UHaul and whatever car he had that worked at the time, I went a lot of places.

And I have done a lot of things. I have had the chance to become, at times, intimately involved in my community and help in strong ways.

I have been on TV and the radio, written for magazines and newspapers, been a clown and a cop, up and down, fairly well off and poor, pastor of large churches and of tiny ones, living in fine houses and homeless. I have fasted for a month and eaten in fine restaurants, ministered to well-off and prisoners, well-placed and poverty-stricken. There were times when I was amazed at where I was and times in which I was in despair trying to get out of where I was.

Some of it sounds impressive on my resume, some of it is hard to forget and I remember it in the early morning. But all of it meant that I never stayed anywhere for a real long time. One of my best friends has been where he is for almost 35 years. It is hard for me to imagine being some where for much more than three years, much less that long. He has become such an integral part of his community.

I have always added to the community where I was, but sooner or later I needed to go. That was exacerbated somewhat by the fact that I was in a denomination that did not value long ministries. That made it easier. It was a lay-led denomination and the leaders were afraid of a preacher who was too involved in the church, so before long, you left.

It meant my children were never anywhere for long. It also meant that we lacked long term friends.

In that time I have learned a lot of things, some which I would just have soon not known. I do not profess to be as wise as the writer of Ecclesiastes, but I have seen a lot of what he says.

And one thing I have found out. It does not matter how good nor how hard you work. Sometimes good things happen and sometimes they do not, regardless of your own personal worth or ability.

Sometimes it is the arrogant idiots, the self-serving charlatans who rise to the top. Sometimes the good and faithful and their families grow old and die in sickness and poverty, their children angry. Why? I do not know.

I do know that I have never regretted serving my God. He is good and he is faithful. I wish that I had stayed somewhere for a long time.

But I know that one day I will receive my reward. That is what I look for. Him saying, come on in, good and faithful servant. Enter into my rest.

No sleeping pills or sleep machines needed there. Just the rest of the righteous.

No point to this, I guess. Just thinking and drinking coffee.