They will neither hunger nor thirst. The searing sun will not reach them anymore. For the LORD in his mercy will lead them; he will lead them beside cool waters. (Isaiah 49:10)Ending day two of my fast. I think I will go three days if the Lord allows.
I had a strange thing happen this evening. We were watching a program on the internet and they were talking about a clam restaurant somewhere that was shaped like a clam box. Never having seen a clam box, I would have to take their word for it.
But what got me was when she brought out a plate of fried clams, french fries and onion rings that was really big. There was a lot of food on that plate. And it looked so good.
I am afraid that if I had the chance I am not sure I could have kept up the fast. If they had been here in the flesh so to speak I do not thing I could have resisted them.
The funny thing is that I am not that fond of clams. They are okay and I will always eat some at Golden Corral because they are there. But they are not my favorite.
Tonight though, they were the essence of my dreams. I could almost smell them. It was a case of food lust, a desire so great that it was only for the fact that they were on the screen that I got by. If I had known it would be on there, I would not have watched it.
It is funny what grabs us at moments of weakness. Last year when I was on the 21 day fast the Foursquare Church called (I think I turned out to be the only one on it), Ella was eating a piece of toast with her meal. But it was the toast that I fixated on. It was near the end of my fast and I was really beginning to feel the effects of the denial and that toast looked so good.
It came to me that I can understand why people get so hungry they will eat anything. Usually if I think about a food it means that I am not hungry, just wanting. But the need to eat – which is sublimated in a fast – was so strong that I began to see things in a totally different light.
Tonight, it was the desire for clams, no hunger. Although hunger fueled the desire, it was not real hunger. For one thing it has only been two days.
I praise you Lord for your mercy and your grace in my life and that you have always given me so much. I pray that you give me more. Give me a job, a ministry, a place to go adn something to do. Give me your presence and your grace even more. Amen.
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