java soaked theological philosophy and associated blather from a spiritual nomad

Disclaimer

I am a man with a great love for my Lord, the church and her members, and for coffee, strong and black.
I also have a great love for writing.
Everything I say here is my own opinion. Why in the world would I hold someone else's opinion?

Monday, April 23, 2012

daily java

Daily Java:
For the Scriptures say, As surely as I live, says the LORD, every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.  (Romans 14:11)
I went to a funeral today. The deceased, a young black man, died suddenly at the age of 41. He was considered to be the best athlete to ever come out of this town. He was engaged to a woman who was pregnant with his twins, he had four children by four other women and no telling how many others. He and his wife began to come to church a few years ago and his wife turned her life around, but, as someone said, he couldn’t control his zipper and they divorced.

He was an extremely athletically talented young man and he died alone while working construction in Texas. The church was full of people who loved him or had known him when he was here, but his was a classic case of a wasted life.

At the funeral, when the obituary and eulogies were read, they were all about 20+ years ago when he was great in sports. Nothing at all about now. He called his daughters every night to talk and they read a moving tribute to him. But it all, every bit, was how he was a long time ago and none of it was about how he was recently.

It was depressing. I read a scripture from Hebrews 12:8 about a great cloud of witnesses and one from Ephesians 6 about the armor of faith. I am not sure why the pastor wanted me to read those, and they didn’t fit, but I did. I suppose he just wanted to try to interject something positive into the service.

People were broken up about it. When he had lived here, he was well-liked. But what had he accomplished?

It set me thinking about my own life. What have I accomplished? What have I done.

There was a guy - a little wienie, really - who made a comment on my blog the other day that was ugly and meant to hurt me. And it did to an extent. I have to remember who it came from: a man who tried his best to split the church and who succeeded in driving off two preachers from the same church. He will answer for his sin.

But at the same time, what will happen at my funeral? My Facebook friends will leave a sad comment on my page and my high school Facebook page will have another. My blog will stop, and my wife will cry. I know she will miss me, as will my daughter. My son, probably too, but that is another story.

But what will people say about my life? That I loved the Lord, that I loved the church? That I tried to feed people, both spiritually and physically? That in many things I was a failure?

Will I leave anything worth leaving? Are there people walking around in the glory of God that are there because I showed them how to be there? Will there be more than just ripples when I die?

This is what I am thinking about as I go to bed tonight. I hate that.

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