what a meeting of all of my Facebook Friends would be like

I was mulling over the idea of what a meeting of all of my Facebook Friends would be like.

A few days ago, I asked an open question. Do you think the people we talk to every day on Facebook would be anything at all what they seem like if we met them in person. One person answered and said No way. Chickens.

But what would it be like if we had a party to which we invited our best Facebook friends to come? I’m not talking about the weird friends we have, like the Texas City Dike or professional organizations – stuff like that. I am talking about the people we talk to all the time on Facebook.

I have built up a relationship with a few people and would like to get to know them better. I probably, and sadly, never will.

But if we got together, had dinner and something to drink, what would it be like?

There are people I have not seen in a long time. There are people I saw last weekend. There are people I have never seen. All kinds.

There are people I knew in high school. There is one girl I would have given a lot to date, but never gave me much more than the time of day. There is another I should have gotten to know better. Another who was unavailable (going with a surfer!). Another I dated a couple of times but who is never on Facebook. A couple of guys I kind of knew.

Then there are the relatives. There are people I am related to and met for the first time in many, many years last February at my Dad’s funeral. There are relatives I have never met.

There is my mother, of course, my wife, son, daughter and her husband, brother, sister, brother-in-law, uncle, some cousins, some nieces and nephews. There is one weird cousin that I saw about twenty or thirty years ago, but haven’t seen since. And there is his half-sister, who I have never met.

There is one college friend, a different guy that was one of the funniest people I ever met (other than myself, of course). Another who turned out far better than I ever thought he would (he and I ran a radio show together), another who ran a rival radio show but wasn’t as funny or talented as we were.

Then there are the professional friends, some of which have turned out to be good Facebook friends. We discuss theology and other stuff almost daily. I would love to have coffee with them and share face-to-face with them, but probably never will.

There are old (relatively speaking) members of my past youth groups and past churches, people I knew as a child, people I went to seminary with, others.

Then there are friends that have somehow attached themselves to my page that I talk to fairly often but do not even know. Maybe friends of friends or something. And some of them I have gotten to like.

Some I would love to know better, some I know as well as I probably want. Some, amazingly enough, I have grown to love and it pains me that I may never get to touch them, to hug them, to pray with them personally, to help them iron out their many faults with my wisdom.

All I can do is keep in Facebook touch (which when it comes down to it is the most shallow of human interchange) and know that it will have to do.

I wish I could talk to each, some more than others, but still.

What a party that would be. I would probably have to hire a hall or something. I don’t think the church fellowship room would be big enough. Maybe a band. Barbeque for dinner. Cake.

And maraschino cherries. I threw a birthday party once for myself where I had lots of maraschino cherries available, and noise-makers. If we are going to have a party, it might as well be a loud one.