end of day one of my week long fast

Isaiah 53:1-6 NLT

    Who has believed our message
       and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
    He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
       and like a root out of dry ground.
    He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
       nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
    He was despised and rejected by men,
       a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
    Like one from whom men hide their faces
       he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
    Surely he took up our infirmities
       and carried our sorrows,
    yet we considered him stricken by God,
       smitten by him, and afflicted.
    But he was pierced for our transgressions,
       he was crushed for our iniquities;
    the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
       and by his wounds we are healed.
    We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
       each of us has turned to his own way;
    and the LORD has laid on him
       the iniquity of us all.

It is the end of the first day of my week long fast toward Resurrection Sunday. The day at church was disappointing. There were not many there today and the tone was muted.

I put a lot of store in days like today. I suppose that is because I came from a church that eschewed them so strongly. They were, in all but actual words, forbidden.

When I came out of the Church of Christ, I decided that I would celebrate them full-bore. There is no reason not to.

However, not everybody shares my enthusiasm.

And I have to admit that many of the things I celebrate – such as Holy Week and all of the attendant stuff – have almost been unknown to Pentecostals until recently.

So I waved my palm branch today and talked about Jesus and how today he was celebrated and in just a week he was killed. And all by the same group of people.

It was because he made them mad. He didn’t do what they wanted and he didn’t act like they wanted a Messiah to act.

He loved them and they knew it, but he just didn’t fill the role the way they wanted him to.

I know how that feels. I have never really fit into the Pentecostal world. I am too other, for lack of a better word. I thought it would be different in the Foursquare Church but so far, it hasn’t.

But I persevere. As did Jesus. Not that I am like him in that regard. I am actually quite a failure.

Of course, I suppose that you could call him a failure, too, if measured by worldly standards. He never had a church of more than a couple hundred, never had a fixed location, never cared about the offering, gave everything away, was always on the outs with the denominational leadership.

Of course, he had the backing of God in all this.

I hope I do too. I have always thought of myself as a fool for Christ. Here lately, I have been afraid that maybe I am just a free-lance fool, who happens to be working for Christ right now.

Father God, I ask you for guidance. Tell me your will. show me your church in the way that you see it. Give me a renewed heart for your work. I praise you. Amen.