And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. (2 Timothy 1:11-12)We have been going through a lot the past bit, as well as several things that are coming up.
We got back last night at 8:30 from Tyler and my father’s funeral. It was really pretty good. He was fast becoming unaware of who was with him. He also had cancer in his lymph nodes and a tumor on his spine. He ended up with pneumonia and his lungs had filled up.
It was the best thing that could have happened to him to die. His life was over and he had no need to keep on. He got his reward.
It was amazing at the number of friends and loved ones that were with him at the end. People came for hundreds of miles just to tell him goodbye. He was loved by so many.
I do not know what will happen when I die. If I can make one small measure of the impact he made, I will have done a lot.
He and I never really saw eye to eye, even though we loved each other. I had not seen him for two and a half years, but I will have to admit that he looked great in his coffin. The funeral directors had done a good job. He looked like he was asleep, except of course that he was wearing glasses and a suit. People rarely ever sleep with glasses and a suit on unless it is in church and then they are sitting up. But he still looked good.
My mother was very accepting. She gave a Do Not Resuscitate order for him and it was used very quickly. At 82, the quality of life was limited with all his problems, so bringing him back again and again would be more cruel than anything.
It makes me so aware of my own mortality. Our generation is one that has always been convinced of its own immortality. We could not go wrong, we couldn’t ever grow old, our mantra was I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid. When stuff happened to us, we were shocked. The cops and the soldiers are our grandchildren, and we are rapidly wearing out our beautiful young bodies. The long cool woman in the black dress is in her middle 60’s and is retirement age. And it is a shock to us.
But like Mr John said, I’m still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will until they lay me out and I am loaded into the crematorium and reduced to ashes.
Until then, I will praise my Lord and him only will I serve. I will do all I can to live for him and love him. He is my God and my Lord and King of my life. He is my all in all and I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.
Praise his name.
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