You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!It seems like bad things happen all the time. It seems like that even to a Christ-follower who loves the Lord.
I sing for joy because of what you have done.
O Lord, what great works you do!
And how deep are your thoughts.
Only a simpleton would not know,
and only a fool would not understand this:
Though the wicked sprout like weeds
and evildoers flourish,
they will be destroyed forever. (Psalm 92:4-7)
And it may be true. After all, as good as Job was, he had nothing but bad things happen to him. He had a good family and it was taken away. And for no reason except he seemed to be the recipient of a bet between God and the devil. The devil said he would fall if he were not blessed and God said he wouldn’t.
So the fight was on. But Job didn’t desert God. He remained faithful through his entire life.
God has done so much for me. he has given me an understanding of his will that many do not have. He has given me a wife that loves me unconditionally even though I do not deserve her.
And even though I do not deserve him, he remains with me, continuing to give me that knowledge and understanding, that ability to teach and preach his love and his grace.
I do not understand why he does. And I keep questioning. Yet he does. Whenever I go to teach the Sunday evening class, he gives me understanding. He gives me the ability to keep on writing even though my life is in shambles.
He stays with me even though I try my hardest to leave him behind.
I do not understand why. Yet he does.
I suppose I ought to shut up and accept it. But I have trouble doing that. He has brought us through this past couple of years even though I did not think he would. we have continued to have what we needed.
And he has been with us.
Only an idiot, a simpleton would think that he has deserted us. But why has he not. I feel like he has.
I have no church to preach at. I have no denomination to call home. I have no real income except the pathetic excuse of an early retirement that I draw.
Yet we have all we need in food and in things to wear and in life in general. We are even able to help others.
So obviously he is with us.
I just wish he could be with us in the way I want: a church to pastor, a people to accept me and love me, a people I can teach.
Of course, he has given me all that here at Firm Foundation.
But still, I feel so alone. Maybe I am just an idiot. That could be true.
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