On the way, Jesus told them, “Tonight all of you will desert me. For the Scriptures say,Peter was telling the truth. He was ready to die for Jesus. And would do so at that very moment or later or whenever Jesus asked him to.
‘God will strike the Shepherd,
and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
But after I have been raised from the dead, I will go ahead of you to Galilee and meet you there.” Peter declared, “Even if everyone else deserts you, I will never desert you.” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, Peter—this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” “No!” Peter insisted. “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!” And all the other disciples vowed the same. (Matthew 26:32-35)
The problem was, Jesus didn’t ask him to die for him. He asked him to live for him. There is a pile of difference between the two. Dying for Jesus requires a moment’s massive sacrifice, a one-time thing. Living requires a long-term commitment. And that is hard.
It also hurt Peter that Jesus would question his manhood, his commitment, his courage, his very loyalty by saying that he would run away. And Jesus knew this. It surely didn’t take divine knowledge to know it. Peter loved Jesus and would do anything he asked. He viewed himself as strong and courageous, firm to the end, he and Jesus standing side by side fighting for the Kingdom of God.
But these moments, or the ones coming soon, were why Jesus had come in the first place. He had come to sacrifice himself, to die, to be nailed to that cross. And he knew why Peter was so upset.
He didn’t even try to convince Peter any further. He knew that it would do no good and would just precipitate an argument. He just turned and led his disciples to the Mount of Olives for the final earthly act of his life. Peter would find out soon enough, and it would shake him to his very core. It would destroy all the bravado, all the self-image the strong man had built up through the years. He would find out that when it came down to it, he would run. And it was not because he was so stupid, or goofy, or yellow. He ran because he didn’t know what else to do. He was baffled.
The fight came just like he thought. He drew his sword and lopped off the ear of one of the attackers. Jesus looked at him and said, “Stop it. Those who live by the sword shall die by the sword.” Then he picked up the ear and put it back on the man.
It took all the wind out of Peter’s sails. He stood, stupefied, and looked around. Then he dropped his sword and ran, just like everyone else. Chances are they all were ready to fight. But Jesus didn’t want them to die. He wanted them to live to bring his gospel to the world.
Peter was the one who gave the first recorded gospel sermon in Acts 2. Peter was the one who opened the door for non-Jews to come into the Kingdom when he went and saw Cornelius in Acts 10. Peter was the one who had such a prominent position in the early church. He did not need to die, and Jesus knew it. He needed to live.
When it came time to die, he did it boldly and without visible fear. We don’t know how he died, but church tradition says that he was crucified upside down in Rome. Maybe, maybe not. The Bible does not speak to it.
But I would imagine he always felt he was living on borrowed time all the rest of his life. He should have died on that hill with Jesus. Instead, it was several decades later before he finally did.
We do not know what we will do until it happens. We may be brave, we may not. The only way we know is when we wake up on the other side of eternity and then it will be a little hard to brag about.
We try our best to do what God wants and we live our lives in as much courage as we can. And we let God take care of the rest. That is all we can do and that is what we trust him to do.
Peter was a great man, no one better, and Jesus knew it. All he needed was a taste of his own mortality. When he got that, he was much the better as an apostle and as an emissary to God.
The same goes for us. Trust and do what you can and let God take care of the end.
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