daily java

Daily Java:

And now my life seeps away.
      Depression haunts my days.
 At night my bones are filled with pain,
      which gnaws at me relentlessly.
 With a strong hand, God grabs my shirt.
      He grips me by the collar of my coat.
 He has thrown me into the mud.
      I’m nothing more than dust and ashes. (Job 30:16-19)

Depression is a strange thing. It affects people in so many different ways.

Jeremiah had it, seeing his people torn apart by their own stupidity. Elijah had it. Why I am not sure, unless it was just part of his nature to see things badly. I am sure that Moses suffered from it in the time between Egypt and being called of God. A lot of others you can kind of read between the lines and see their depression.

In Matthew 5:4, Jesus said: God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Jesus here was talking about the fact that one who is in tune with God will naturally feel sad when things are not as God wants. And it is hard to look at the way the people of God react and not feel sadness.

And enough stuff happening can make that sadness grow until it permeates every part of your life. Depression is not necessarily caused by outward bad things, but enough outward bad things can surely cause depression.

I was listening to someone today tell me that a pastor had told his wife that if she took depression medicine, she was sinning, not allowing God to work. He was a fool because that is not true. It is, however, easy for someone to say. It makes the person saying it feel righteous and godly, when actually they are just being foolish.

Does God deliver people from depression? Yes, he even delivered me for a time. But he did not deliver Elijah. And he doesn’t deliver a lot of people, just like he doesn’t heal a lot of people.

So what do they do? God without when there are things that will help them? That is foolish. It is like the people who tell cancer victims they do not need to take their treatments because God will deliver them. God makes no guarantees of deliverance. After all, how many ill people were in Judea when Jesus healed the ones he did. Not all were healed then. And not all were healed today.

Those same people have made the comment that a person dies of cancer because their husband or wife didn’t have enough faith.

The simple truth is: God does not heal everyone. His answer to Paul in 2 Corinthians 11 when Paul prayed for healing was No. Deal with it. Would Paul have been justified in taking medicine? Would God delight in the suffering if he had not given the healing?

Of course, the question still remains about depression. Is it from God or the devil? Of course, no good and perfect thing can come from the devil and no evil thing can come from God. But why would he allow it to stay and color someone’s life?

And color it does. It reduces all around it to gray and tinges everything with sadness. It makes everything sad. It takes the fun out of everything and renders the sufferer almost inert. It brings pain – even physical pain , but especially mental pain and makes it hard to do even simple things.

Why is it here? I don’t know, but I do know I have suffered with it most of my life.

And why would God deliver me from it almost 20 years ago only to allow it to come back in such force?

I hate it and it has sapped my life away. The problem is, though, that the medicine to alleviate it causes more physical problems than I want to deal with. The cure is almost worse than the curse.

Oh, God, take it away.