anger towards God

People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord. (Proverbs 19:3)

My wife has fallen five times in the past two days. She has Multiple Sclerosis and has a lot of problems with her legs and her feet. She really had a bad day Sunday, but in the morning services the church prayed over her. she said she felt a feeling like a layer of pain went away.

Since then she has fallen five times, she cannot lift her right foot into the car, she can barely walk.

She was better off before the prayer.

I looked for a scripture to go with this as I always like to find one. The one above is the only one is the Bible that I can find where someone is angry with the Lord (other than Jonah and he was angry that Nineveh turned away from sin and that the plant that shaded him had to die – a little different situation.). But this verse seems to indicate that anger at the Lord comes from someone wasting their lives by being foolish and then blaming God.

And that doesn’t fit here. Not only that, but it really grates on me. Do I have no right to be angry with God? Even Job was not condemned for his anger and his frustration. God just told him that he was God and that was that. Kind of the same situation.

Ella is a good person, one who simply loves and trusts God, one w ho freely and totally worships him. And he has treated her like this.

It fills me with a certain rage. There is no reason for her to suffer like this. And certainly, there is no reason to make her worse after she has been prayed for. I I had known that, I would have had her stay home from church. She felt better for a while and even testified Sunday night. But Monday it was different.

She felt a touch of the Lord all right. She felt a back-handed slap.

I have devoted my life to his service, as has she, being, as she was, trapped in my world.

And now, we are broke – almost destitute – and she is in pain. The pain, to make it worse, is not from the MS. It is from the falling. Every time she falls, she hurts herself. She has a considerable number of bruises and sore places.

Now this is not the normal way people talk of God and I know it. But on the other hand, this is not what God promised his people. The Bible is full of comments that if we are in him, he will bless us.

Where is the blessing? And why pain instead of blessing? If we were being persecuted, that would be one thing. But this is worthless. It serves no purpose and only makes one of his loving children hurt more.

The Bible says that God as a father is better than we are. But this I know: as a father I would not allow my children to be hurt if it were in my power to stop it.

I am not all that great a person. Why could it not be happening to me. I probably deserve it. But not her. she does not deserve it, and has done nothing to warrant it.

I started this blog to share my heart. But today my heart is angry. And I see today a God who does not care. What is more, I hear nothing but cloying aphorisms from friends, trite little sayings that make me madder than anything else.

People feel compelled to defend God with stupid little sayings about his love and how maybe we aren’t on his wavelength and all that BS.

But God has begun to ignore us and I do not know why. And I am in pain from it in my heart, while my sweet little trusting worshiping loving wife is in pain in her body for no reason.

Hear me Lord.