when you look at someone you love and have known for a long time, you see them in layers

Are your eyes like those of a human? Do you see things only as people see them? (Job 10:4)

We ate lunch at our favorite Chinese buffet today. It has a Mongolian barbeque that Ella particularly loves. You put all of the raw meat, vegetables and whatever into one or two or seventeen, I guess, bowls and give it one of the guys behind the counter. They put it on a large circular grill and cook the daylights out of it.

It is suppose to go back to the Mongols cooking their dinners on shields using their swords. I do know that if done right, it is noisy and somewhat production oriented.

But anyway, I was at the table eating the stuff I had gotten off the steam tables and Ella was standing at the counter where I could see her, waiting with a fair amount of anticipation. She loves her food done that way.

As I looked at her, it dawned on me that when you look at someone you love and have known for a long time, you see them in layers.

I have told you ad nauseum, probably, that I love her. I have waxed the elephant on that subject enough for all of us. But still, the layer thing is true.

She is going to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of her 39th birthday in just a couple of weeks. But when I look at her, I do not necessarily see a 39+ person. I see Ella. And looking at her, I see her at almost every part of her life.

I can see her when we were going together in 1969, when we got married in 1971, when I graduated from seminary in 1976, when we were in Spokane in the late ‘70’s, early 80’s. I can see her when I got my second degree in 1985. I can see her as we had our two children. I can see her when she went through her physical fitness period in the ‘90’s. I can see her as she got increasingly sick with her MS. I can see her debilitated with the pain and almost paralyzed at times.

I see her. I do not see the 39+ woman, I see Ella.

This came to mind when I got back in contact with some of my old high school friends at our 40th reunion. I have only really got to talk to one of them, but I talk to the others on Facebook and I look at their pictures. For the most part, when I look at their pictures, I can see them as they were in addition to as they are. Some of them, you have to really look, but they are there.

Now new friends will never be like that. We have made friends that I will never know what they looked like when they were young. They have shown me no pictures and I cannot begin to guess. When I see them, they will always be static, one age.

But with Ella, she is dynamic – many ages, multi-aged, eternal.

It is that inner being that I see when I look at her that I will se when I get to heaven. That inner being is her, not the outside body that is wearing out. She is what is inside, not outside.

Someone once said, a long time ago, that he could not figure out how a man could make love to the same woman for decades. To him it was weird. But to me, it is totally natural. Ella is Ella, not her body.

Now when she gained a lot of weight after a doctor gave her a lot of prednisone for her pain, I have to admit, I had a little trouble recognizing her in the store. But after a while, I did. And when she finally lost the weight, it was like she came back home. Another layer.

It is a shame that people who meet her now only see the 39+ woman and not the eternal woman I have had the privilege of knowing. I love that one. I have enjoyed being with all the manifestations over the 40+ years we have been married. And I will like it for the next however long the Lord gives me in her presence.