If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. (Ecclesiastes 4:10)I fell again today. It seems that I am going along fine then boom! I fall.
This time I almost took out the little bookcase where we store our natural grain cereals and such, along with sugar and flour. I didn’t break it, but did a good job anyway.
I felt myself going and went over kind of sideways backwards and landed with my head on two plastic storage containers, both of which I broke.
It didn’t hurt me, but it certainly hurts my pride. It is one of those things that makes you feel stupid. And as tall as I am, my fall is slow and majestic and I hit hard. Again, it was fortunate that I hit the strorage containers because they gave easily under the imacvt of my head.
Pain is limited to my left lower back. I wrenched my back, so I just am probably going to have trouble moving tomorrow morning.
The worst part is the weakness I have right now. I guess it is the rapid weight loss combined with the inabililty to get any real nourishment from food (I have trouble eating), but whatever it is, I could not get my arms and legs under me. It was almost impossible to get up. I finally butt-walked over to the bed that is on carpet and with Ella’s help, got everything together and got up.
All told, it was probably five minutes before I could get up off the floor.
And I hated every minute of it. I hated the fact that Ella saw me in such a tremendous state of weakness, I hate the fact that I am that weak. I have always been the strong one. But not now.
I have thought about it all evening. If it happened when I was by myselff, I am not sure what I would do. I certainly am not going to call someone to pick me up. I am not that big anymore, but still. And to say that I have my pride sounds shallow, but it is true, I guess.
However, now that the pride is going, I am going to have to replace it with something else, something that will get me off the floor.
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