three day fast, day one

Hear my prayer, O Lord;
      listen to my plea!
      Answer me because you are faithful and righteous.
Don’t put your servant on trial,
      for no one is innocent before you.
My enemy has chased me.
      He has knocked me to the ground
      and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
I am losing all hope;
      I am paralyzed with fear.
I remember the days of old.
      I ponder all your great works
      and think about what you have done.
I lift my hands to you in prayer.
      I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. (Psalm 143:1-6)

I have finished the first day of my three day fast. And I am hungry.

In 1994, I was going through a  transition in my life and someone told me that the Lord had told them if I would fast and pray for three days, I would get the answer to my prayer. That has been the case ever since.

As far as I know, that was the first “Word from God” that I had ever received. And it was absolutely true. Most of the time.

As in all things spiritual, there is no magic bullet. But it has worked for me more often than not. In fact, it is the three day fasts that seem to accomplish more in discerning the Lord’s will than the much longer ones I have gone on.

I am in transition again. I have no real desire to be in the Foursquare Church after Lincoln. But I do not know where to go or what to do. I know that God has called me to ministry. But what kind? That I do not know. And I need to find out. I want desperately to fulfill his work for my life.

So I fast and pray for three days. I would like to do this every week for a while, Monday through Wednesday. The rest of the week, I am going to alter my eating significantly.

I am heavier than I have ever been. Even though I lost fifty pounds last year (on the 21 day fast the Foursquare Church was supposed to be on – although I did not find anyone else doing it), I gained it back over the course of the rest of the year.

The main reason, I suppose, was depression. The depression of how things were going in Lincoln and the depression of ending our work there and coming back here with my tail between my legs.

The church here received us so warmly. It was amazing. But it still hurt.

Father God, hear my cry. I do not want to be without hope. I want to do your will. And I need to know your will. I praise you and I reach out to you in this fast. Amen.