Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom, imprisoned in iron chains of misery. (Psalm 107:10)I left the Cooper County jail for the last time today. The misery was strong tonight. One man was worried because his trial was tomorrow and he didn’t know what would happen. Another had been put in solitary because he had complained of physical problems. His friend in another cell block missed him and was alone for the first time in several months. The men he had been friends with had been sent to prison. Another was the brother of the man in solitary and he had been told nothing about his brother and was worried.
Then I went into the guard room. They were laughing about all of the things happening to the inmates. To them it was funny and the inmates’ own faults.
Whether it was or not I do not know. What I do know was that I knew these men better than the guards did. And they were in pain. And the guards didn't care.
Now these guys may have been lying to me every one. The inmates lie as a matter of course many times and you never really know if what they are saying is true. But some of these men I have known now for nine months and have heard their problems and their hearts. They are in there for drugs, rape, assault, DUI – but on the other hand, they are people. And they are just, for the most part, charged. They are not convicted. They deserve better.
I do not think I am strong enough for jail ministry. I know why the guards make such fun. they are distancing themselves from the inmates and making them less so that they can handle what they do. But it is such a small distance from that to brutality. And I hate brutality.
I will probably not go into the jail again. It hurt them that I was leaving. I am their only real link to the outside world. I wear brightly colored clothes and smell of freedom. I talk to them and call them by name. I shake their hands and ask about where they are from. I ask about their family and I talk to them. I ask what they think and I am the only person who does so. I am the only person in years for some who has expressed any personal interest.
And now I am gone. They will probably not see me again. One more disappointment,
Tonight I am depressed. I don’t think I will go in a jail again.
No comments:
Post a Comment
To comment, post your comment and click the anonymous button. It would be nice if you signed it so I could know who you are.
You are welcome to say anything you want as long as it is nice. If I don't like it, or it is ugly, I will take it off, place it into the garbage disposal, grind it up, and allow it to be flushed into the Gulf of Mexico where it will be eaten by a fish and then excreted where it will lie on the bottom of the ocean until it is covered up by other comments.