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Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. (Matthew 23:1-3)

Someone wrote tonight to me and said: “I really enjoy watching you and Ella in your walk together. I never managed to do this. I am glad you are able to and do it well. Love and Not be afraid to show it.”

Ella and I have been married for 42 years tomorrow morning at 10:00. At that time I pledged my troth to her, told her I loved her and intended to do so forever. And she promised me the same.

And what is amazing is that forty-two years later, here we are, still loving each other and still together.

It was not always easy. We had problems and at one time they were serious. But when it came down to it, we had made a decision to be together. And we still are.

But what difference does it make to stay together? What difference does it make to the world that two people in the middle of nowhere in Kansas decide not to get divorced, that two people stay together and keep faithful to each other.

For one thing there are two more families that have seen that up close and personal: our children. Even so, our daughter had problems with her first marriage, not of her making. And it fractured. But her second one is going well. She sees the commitment as life-long.

Our son is still married after eleven years and has a child. He saw the model and is trying to model his life after that same paradigm.

And others see it too. As a minister, one of the important things I do is to model the Christian life in front of my church. How can I teach things to other people that I cannot seem to get straight in my own life? I want them to see my life as a reflection of what God wants. I cannot do that as effectively with a broken marriage.

When I did jail ministry, the inmates were amazed to see someone whose life had not been fractured again and again. They were amazed at long-term love.

That is a lot of it there. I want others to see what God had in mind for life. We love each other and remain faithful. We are hospitable. We are loving. We are merciful. We are giving. Or at least we try to be. We don’t always make the grade but at the same time, we try.

The old adage, “I’d rather see a sermon as hear one any day” is true. Any idiot can tell a bunch of people things. That was what Jesus was talking about in the passage above,

The Pharisees and teachers of the Law (those whose job it was to tell the people what God wanted) lived lives at great variance with what God wanted. Jesus said that you need to listen to them but not pay attention to what they did. They were, Jesus said, overt hypocrites, trying to tell people what to do without doing it themselves. They felt themselves above the law because they were teachers.

They said what God wanted them to say and felt quite superior in doing it. But they either refused or were incapable of doing what God said.

I want people to see me and recognize that I live like I want them to live. I love them enough and I love God enough to try to do what is right.

And even though those things are right and give pleasure in obedience, at the same time, there is joy in living with someone for decades. You know all about them and they know all about you and yet they still love you and you them.

Of course, in our case, that is not that hard for me. My wife is good and sweet and loving. She loves me with an unabashed love and always has. She gave herself to me on our wedding night and our bond has been strong and pure and good.

Of course, she has had problems in that I was an ongoing project that took quite a few years to get anywhere near working good.

But I have always loved her and always will. I loved her the minute I saw her and have never ceased. I told her when we got married it was for sickness and health and we both meant it. Now she is sick and I take care of her. With my cancer, I know she will be with me.

We are our support group and our mutual expression of love.

And tomorrow, 42 years ago, our journey together began. What a ride! What a life! What a woman!

Marriage is more than a good sex life. After all, people get old and tired, stuff falls that you would rather stay up, energies flag. But love, on the other hand, continues. Love grows.

And our love has grown. And it will continue. I love her.