Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment. (Hebrews 9:27)Lately I have been having a bit of a fantasy about being 18 again. You know, what I would do, how I would change my life, that sort of thing.
As my wife points out, it is somewhat of a foolish fantasy, as it will never happen. But I still persist.
What would I do if it were mine to do again?
I get to thinking about how I would change life. I would get my education earlier and go through with the doctorate I never got. I would major in performance music in college, instead of Bible. I would get my Master of Divinity. I would leave the Church of Christ earlier and become part of the Jesus people in the late 60’s, early 70’s.
One thing I would not want to change and would do everything I could to not do so would be to marry Ella. I don’t know how she would react to me – a long-haired charismatic trying to convince her to marry me. After all, when we met, we both were in the same denomination. In fact we met at a youth activity in Pasadena, TX, right after a revival. That part might be a bit hard.
But the point is: there are lots of things I want to change. I would still go into the army. I was glad to give that to my country. But so many other things I would change in a New York minute (whatever that is).
I have even thought about what kind of car I would buy (a pickup instead of the ’62 Mercury Meteor I had) and a bunch of other stuff.
So I got to wondering. Why exactly am I getting into this kind of absolutely close-ended fantasy? It will not happen so there is no real purpose in thinking about it.
It dawned on me the other day. I don’t like the world we live in right now. I guess that is it. I try to do something others have done so often: retreat to the good old days.
Of course, one of the main problems with this line of thinking is that sooner or later (unless I get killed earlier in life), I will be 60 again. And probably life will be, at least, similar to now. So I haven’t really done anything except go through it again.
Goofy things to be thinking about, but hey, at least I have my coffee.
