Daily Java:

Moses accepted the invitation, and he settled there with him. In time, Reuel gave Moses his daughter Zipporah to be his wife. Later she gave birth to a son, and Moses named him Gershom, for he explained, “I have been a foreigner in a foreign land.” (Exodus 2:21-23)

Today I said something in German. I know very little German, but there are things I can say. Numbers, some colors, various phrases, general stuff.

But in general, I don't know enough to say much. But what I did learn in my time in Germany was enough to shatter my world view.

I spent a year and a half in Darmstadt, Germany. I came back to America in January of 1971 and married my love, whom I took back to spend six months with me on a European honeymoon.

I know a lot of people who have spent more time in foreign countries as tourists, but we lived there. We had an apartment and a red Volkswagen with a sunroof and had a great time. We were newly married and in a phenomenally different place and we had fun.

It was not all peaches and cream, as the saying goes. One month we had our rent money stolen from our apartment and we had a lot of trouble getting enough money to pay rent. I was gone for 24 hours at a time so Ella was forced to be by herself in the apartment. She knew no German and was a fearful 19 year old girl so she tended to stay hidden.

The apartment itself was smaller than our living room now. There was no living room but it had a banquette with two chairs that we sat in. The bedroom was just big enough for a double bed against the wall on one side and a chifferobe (a schrunk)on the other. The kitchen was in a small cabinet and consisted of a small sink, two hot plates and a camp sized refrigerator. Two shelves were above the sink. No oven.

However, the bathroom was huge. Everybody else on our floor had to use the bathroom at the end of the hall, but we had a large bathtub in our bathroom. Ella washed our clothes in it with the toilet plunger and dried them on the radiator.

Down the cobblestone street was a Russian Orthodox Cathedral built by Czar Nicholas when he married Alexandria, who was of the Darmstadt royal family. It had gold spires with a mosaic reflecting pool in front and a Russian University next to it with spires that looked like five fingers, all pointing to the sky. Across the street was a park where many of the students hung out. Down the street were massive flower beds with steps leading to the street. People walked a lot on the sidewalk.

We went a lot of places. There were a places that were free and we just explored. Six months of exploration, both of each other and our temporary home.

We drove places in our VW, we walked places, went on the electric train or the electric bus system, visited castles, museums, had soft drinks at outdoor cafes (they served them with a glass and with a lemon wedge – it made us feel so cosmopolitan).

And we walked. Miles and miles we walked. We walked all over Darmstadt and all over any of the other cities we visited. We went to Trier and Zurich and Heidelberg and a few other places.

But what we did was to alter our worldview. No longer were we just Americans, but we realized that there is a totally different world out there. And we lived in it as participants, not as tourists.

And it altered us both individually and as a couple. We were 5500 miles from home and were forced to depend on each other. It was $40 for a phone call so contact with home was prohibitive. There was no running home to Mom or interference in any way by parents.

We had to depend totally on ourselves. And it cemented our relationship in a way that was different than any of our other friends. There was no way that we could have done this if we had lived in the States.

We were strangers in a strange land. And in many ways, it is like it was yesterday.

I am grateful for that time together in a foreign land. I got to know my wife there and grew to love her. We had friends in the church in Darmstadt and had a good time.

Thank you Lord for that time. It was a great blessing in my life.

daily java

Daily Java:

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:24)

Our first apartment was a small one. It was in Germany in 1971 when I was in the army and it was really little. As I recall, it was big enough for a table and chairs with a small kitchen in a cupboard and a chest in the main room and a bed with a chifferobe in the bedroom. There was also a bathroom, which we were fortunate to have. Many had to go down the hall to one.

The bed was longer than American beds and really too narrow for my comfort. I was 6’3” tall and 190 pounds but I was a little too big for our bed. The pink and orange checked sheets we had brought were both too short and too wide for our bed. But it had one redeeming feature. It was ours.

The apartment was no more than 10 or 12 by 20 in all but it was ours. We were newlyweds and it really didn’t matter how small it was. It only had three windows, one in each of the rooms (bathroom included) and they had shutters that came down and locked out the light completely.

The main room had a tiny kitchen in a cupboard. It was a little sink with two hot plates and some shelves above. Below was a dorm sized refrigerator. We went down the street and bought our groceries every day like the Germans did. We laid meat against the freezer so it would last longer. We also discovered that if we took the dividers out of the one ice tray that fit in the tiny freezer we had more ice for our iced tea, something that Germans didn’t drink.

We were broke almost the entire time we were in Germany. We had enough to buy gasoline to drive our Volkswagen places and to buy minimal groceries, but we had no extra money.

But it didn’t bother us. We were, after all, newlyweds and were happy just being together. We walked and explored and drove around a lot. Even though German gas was expensive (over $1.00 a gallon at a time when it was less than 25 cents a gallon back in America), we got a gas ration from the army and it was enough to do what we wanted.

We drove to castles and to other cities during times when I was off from work and we had a great time. We visited museums and sat in restaurants in palace courtyards and had Coca-Cola with lemon like cultured Europeans. I learned rudimentary German and could make myself understood and we dressed German so that we wouldn’t stand out in crowds like American GI’s often did.

I bought German shoes so I didn’t have to wear GI brogans like other GI’s. I cut my hair at German barbers and Ella let hers grow. We fit in. She was beautiful and I loved her. We had a great time together.

This time together did several things. For one, it set us as a couple without the interference of parents. When you take your new bride 5500 miles from home where a phone call is over $40, it makes a difference. We learned to like each other as well as love each other. We were our friends. We also had friends in the Church of Christ there in Germany and that also made a difference. But in general, we were our friends. We were alone in a foreign country and we liked it.

We set ourselves as a couple and it has remained in our lives ever since. We are our family. As the kids have gotten older and left, we have gone back to being a couple, our own friends. We love each other and are bound in a way that a lot of couples are not. She is my home, no matter where we go. She feels the same way.

I love her and have loved her since we moved into that apartment in Germany on the third floor of that doctor’s house. We paid $100 a month and it was worth every penny. Even on the month when someone came in and stole what little money we had and we had to count pennies and eat cheese sandwiches for a month, it was still worth it. We had a furnished apartment with a $4 transistor radio for our entertainment, and it was great. I loved her then and I love her still.

I can imagine no life without her and still remember her in that tiny apartment in Germany. She knew no German and waited each day for me to come home to her, hanging out the window like all the other hausfraus. She was so beautiful and so lovely.

I will love her forever.

our apartment in germany

The bed you have made is too short to lie on. The blankets are too narrow to cover you. (Isaiah 28:20)

Our apartment in Germany was so small. How small was it, you ask? It was so small that we had to go out in the hall to change our minds. Ba-dum-dum. Thank you. I will be here all week.

Seriously, though, it was small, probably no bigger than our current living room, which is not very big itself.

But we were newlyweds and really didn’t care at the time. We were together, we were in a fascinating foreign country, eating interesting food (when we could afford it – a GI’s salary was not very big), seeing things we had only read about.

We had a red 1962 Volkswagen with a sun roof and drove around all the time. If we were not driving, we walked, or rode the electric streetcars or the electric trains.

It was great. I had learned some German, Ella was from a German background and looked like everybody else and we would just go out and try to blend in. Of course, I was about six inches taller than most Germans but still, we got to where we looked downright native.

But back to the apartment. It was $200 a month (almost half my salary) and was on the third floor of a doctor’s house. It had two rooms with a bathroom that almost as big as one of the other rooms. We were fortunate in that, as the rest of the people on our floor had to go down the hall to a bathroom. It had an enormous bathtub that Ella washed clothes in. She hung them up to dry on the radiator.

In the main room was a banquette table with two chairs and a L-shaped bench. That was all the seating. There was a little kitchen inside a cupboard and a cabinet for storage. In the bedroom was an odd shaped bed (longer and narrower than American beds) up against the wall with a chifferobe and a dresser. I had also an old German army footlocker at the bottom of the bed. There was about three feet of floor space to do stuff in.

It had two big windows, one in each of the rooms that had shutter things that would come down and seal in the room with no light.

Across the street was a beautiful park that was attached to a Russian university down the street. Beside the Russian university was a Russian Orthodox cathedral used by Czar Nicholas of Russia when he would come to visit the in-laws, Alexandra’s parents. It was inlaid in gold and had a gold mosaic reflecting pool in front of it. (One of the reasons the peasants revolted against the Russian aristocracy).

In front of the apartment was a small cobblestone drive. We had to park a couple of streets down as there was no parking on the street and I didn’t want to pay for parking in the garage attached to the house.

The apartment was tiny. Ella would sit in the window, as German women would do, and watch people walk by. When I came walking up from the car, I would see her, this cute little 19 year old girl, sitting in the window watching for me. She would wave, I would give back a manly wave. I would climb six flights of stairs (something I did so easily that it amazes me) and I would be home.

We were happy. It was our home, our own. And we loved each other. I miss it. It would be horrible to live in such a small space now, but it was all so new.

daily java

Daily Java:

The Lord is king!
      Let the earth rejoice!
      Let the farthest coastlands be glad.
Dark clouds surround him.
      Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
Fire spreads ahead of him
      and burns up all his foes.
His lightning flashes out across the world.
      The earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
      before the Lord of all the earth.
The heavens proclaim his righteousness;
      every nation sees his glory. (Psalm 97:1-6)

Ella and I had our first apartment in Europe. I was in the army and had six more months to go when I came home and got her to go back with me to Darmstadt, Germany. And we had a great time.

The apartment was small, no more than 120 square feet, the entire two room apartment. It was on the third floor of a doctor’s house, on a floor with three other apartments.

The kitchen was a tiny sink and two hot plates inside a cupboard, a small dorm sized refrigerator underneath.. The cabinets and closet were free standing units, as is common in Europe. In the corner of the main room there was a banquette with a bench and two chairs. The bedroom was just big enough for a bed and chiffarobe with a footlocker at the end of the bed.

We did have our own bathroom. The other apartments shared one down the hall.

We had to park down the street and around the corner. But we had the most marvelous view out our windows.

Down the street was a Russian Orthodox church that was used by Czar Nicholas of Russia when he came to Darmstadt to visit Alexandra’s relatives. In front of the church and the university that was beside it was a large park, filled with students and people of all ages in any good weather. Flowers were everywhere. The street was cobblestone with a fountain at the end of it.

There were complications, of course. One month, someone came in and stole our rent money and we had to scrabble for that month. We had to go a ways to get the car.  The nearest laundry facilities were at the base a couple of miles away.

But it was great. When I came home from work, Ella would be sitting in the window like all of the other hausfraus, watching the traffic and the world go by.

It was our place, our apartment. We were newlyweds with Europe just outside our door. And we took advantage of it. We walked a lot of places, even though we had a red 1962 VW beetle. We rode the buses (which were electric) and took the train to distant places.

We drove up the Rhine River and saw castles and other great things. We looked and we loved it.

We went to church on base. There was a Church of Christ meeting on Sunday afternoons and we soon made a lot of friends in it.

And our marriage was made stronger by it. When you live 5500 miles from the in-laws, you learn to depend upon yourselves and be your own people.

It was the best thing that could have happened to us and I thank God for it. I also thank God for my wife.

Nothing to do really with the scripture above, but I like it.

living in germany

It was 1971. Ella and I were in Germany and I was in the army. We loved to walk around Darmstadt, a city about 20 miles south of Frankfurt where we lived. We ate German food and shopped in German grocery stores and tried our best to be German, even though I was a GI.

There were museums and a castle and we lived in an apartment just down a cobblestone street from the Russian Orthodox Cathedral that Czar Nicholas used when he came to visit the in-laws, Alexandra’s family. It was visible from our window – gold tipped spires and a reflecting pool inlaid with gold – and had a university attached to it.

We loved to go to the castle in the middle of Darmstadt and look at the armor and stuff. It was quite beautiful. We had a red Volkswagen, but took the bus a lot, as it was easy and cheap and had a stop just down the street from our house. Since we had to park a couple of blocks away from our apartment, it was just as easy to take the bus unless we were going a long way.

The castle had a moat around it that was empty now, grass growing in it. On one side of the platz, the plaza, in front of the castle was a large building – I am not sure what of – that had been bombed in World War II. I am sure they kept it intact as it was to remind the Americans who were, after all, the occupying forces of what had happened.

In front of the castle, out in the middle of the platz, was a little café. It had tables and chairs for the customers to sit and watch the foot traffic on the platz. It made us, at 21 and 19, feel continental as we sat sipping Coca-Cola and lemon, something we had never had before and that seemed so continental. The combination was a European one that was really quite good and just different enough to make us feel special. We were in Europe and seeing things that were European.

That small thing marked us. We have remembered it for the rest of our lives. At times, it is almost as if it were yesterday. We have not had the opportunity to go back to Europe and would love to. Of course, Ella couldn’t. Not now, Not with her disability. Where, after all, would she charge her scooter, or even get it on the airplane.

But to a young married couple coming into a relationship that was enhanced by the distance from our families, it was wonderful. Not every young couple gets to have a European honeymoon.

I was thinking about that tonight for no real reason. It is a special memory: us sitting on the platz drinking Coke with lemon watching people from another culture living in their world. It was so different from ours, yet so similar.

I learned enough German that we could get around easily and do what we wanted. We wore German clothing and I got my hair cut by a German barber. We blended in as much as we could. It was a good time.

It was almost 40 years ago and it seems like just a short time ago. I love my wife and am glad I got to take that little 19 year old to Europe to immerse her in that culture. I am grateful that the little 19 year old allowed me to share her life and gave me her love. I will love her until I die.

first married in germany

The following post is kind of long, but is from my heart.

When we went to Germany in 1971 as a young married couple, it was an adventure.

Not only were we newlyweds, living by ourselves for six months in a foreign country, there was also the independence of it all.

I have often told people that there is nothing that breeds unity in a couple like being 5500 miles from her parents. Just to call home cost around $40 for a decent conversation at the time.

She, of course, could write home, but it took a long time before there was an answer. By the time a letter came, the situation was usually taken care of.

Our first apartment was a tiny little area, two rooms both maybe 10X12. One was the living room, kitchen, dining room, main salon. There was a banquette table/bench with a couple of straight chairs, a couple of shelf units for storage and a tiny kitchen (pictured above) inside a cabinet: two hot plate burners, a sink, some shelves and a dorm size refrigerator.

The bedroom was long enough for a double bed and a footlocker with a free-standing closet on the other side.

We had our own bathroom with a rather large tub.

It was great. Just Ella and me. There were two windows overlooking the park across the street. Down the street was the Russian Orthodox Cathedral where Nicholas, the last czar of Russia, worshipped when he came to see Alexandria’s folks. There was also a university next to it with a tower shaped like five fingers next to it.

In the park, as well as the plazas around it, were seasonal flowers put there by some municipal department in charge of such things. When one group died, they dug them up and replaced them with something else. Tulips were the star flowers for a while, tulips of all colors, seas of tulips. It was beautiful.

When I came home from work, my little 19 year old wife would be sitting in the window watching people walk by, just like all of the older hausfraus.

We were independent, care-free, newlyweds in love with each other and we had a great time. Of course, I was in the army and had to go on base to work, but on our days off, we explored.

We had an old VW Beetle, a 1962 model with a 1956 engine in it. It had a rag-top sunroof that we would open and take pictures of castles from. Otherwise, we walked everywhere, all over the city of Darmstadt, all over the Heidelberg castle and a lot of the city and anywhere else we could go.

The city of Darmstadt was our exploration point. We got to know it quite well.

And we got to know each other quite well. In the years past, I would think about the people on the Oregon Trail who left their homes and went a thousand miles away by themselves to carve out their own life in a strange place. How well they would get to know each other when all they had to be with was each other.

In Germany, I had begun going back to church on base and had gotten to know the preacher and his wife, Ed and Margaret Chemnitz. Ed and Margaret were good people who welcomed GI’s into their home and tried to be hospitable. When I came over with Ella, they were waiting for her. They welcomed her with open arms and became our social group. But for the most part, we were by ourselves.

It made for a situation that has always been in our lives. We are our best friends and we are together. We always have been. We have a marital and spiritual unity that many people just dream about. It is more than love; it is truly that one-mindedness that God wanted of married couples in Genesis when he made them. The one flesh is more than sex, it is a like-mindedness that cannot be had by any other means than marriage.

I love my wife in ways that are hard to say. She has always been with me and has always followed my direction even when it was stupid, or at least seemed so. Both her family and mine were based on that paradigm and we followed it.

When our kids left home, it was back like that again. We were our friends, our confidants, our lovers.

I have never regretted loving and marrying Ella Leigh Mochman.