i am looking at a pair of red wool sox that i bought in 1970

Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? (Proverbs 6:28)

I am looking at a pair of red wool sox that I bought in 1970. And here they are still in my possession. No holes, no visible wear, still bright red.

I remember when I bought them. It was in Germany in the PX and my feet were cold. They were ski sox and were rather thick wool and came in two colors: red and blue. I bought one of each for about a dollar each. I wore them with my combat boots in the snow.

I have had those sox since before I got married, before I had any career plans (other than leaving the army as fast as I could), before I answered the call to preach, before all my whole life.

I bought them before I was 21. And now here I am at almost 62.

The blue ones are gone somewhere, no telling where. The red ones look a little old, but for 41 year old sox, they look great.

I bought them when Nixon was president, when the Vietnam war was raging, when gas was less than a quarter, when you could walk right onto an airplane, when people hitchhiked without fear, when long hair on guys was considered bad, when bell bottoms were coming in, when cars were huge, when a computer took up an entire floor in a skyscraper, when the Beatles were still together (barely), when the world was young and so was I.

It was before air conditioning for the most part, before so many things, before fear.

When I bought those sox, my whole life was before me in all its shining splendor. Now it lies for the most part behind me. There are very few things I have that are that old or older, but none are in as good a shape as these sox. Except for the heat, I could put them on tomorrow and wear them. The elastic in the top is long gone, but the basic structure of the sox is still good.

Now sometimes my wife wears them in the evening. Since the advent of fleece sox, she hasn’t. but she used to a lot.

I have had a dozen or more guitars, a couple of dozen cars, one wife, two children, a dozen or more cats and dogs, a number of coffeemakers, quite a few heartbreaks in ministry, three or four wedding rings, but this one pair of sox still remains.

I may be making more of this than I should, but there seems to something apocalyptic about a 41 year old pair of sox. I feel they need to be noticed, celebrated, something. Maybe a frame with a little LED spotlight.

I know they are good for an article in my blog, but other than that, they will probably go back into the drawer and sit, waiting for their moment in the cold to give warmth. Maybe I can will them to one of my kids and he or she can start a heritage. Heritage sox.

Yes, kids, your great, great grandpa bought these in Europe in the old days. I think it was during World War 2 or something, and he brought them over the Oregon Trail or something. They were special sox and kept him from freezing to death with the Donner Party or something like that.

Great sox. Stupid kids though with no knowledge of history.

BTW, the verse above has nothing to do with sox, but I just like to match a verse. It makes me feel all spiritual.

we had a potluck dinner sunday

They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. (Acts 2:46-47)

We had a potluck dinner Sunday. That is one of the most interesting parts of Christianity and being part of a group.

It is a curious thing that you go to a dinner that has absolutely no plan, no rhyme or reason, just a whole bunch of food laid out on a table, in varying degrees of hot (if a hot dish) or cold (if a cold dish).

Some of the dishes were prepared a couple of hours ahead of time, some were baked right before served.

But the table literally groans with the sheer amount of food. and what is funny is that people are standing there in line just vibrating with anticipation.

You get your plate and begin the line. The mixture of foods is truly strange. There is lasagna, potato salad, a salad made with some kind of broccoli, another potato dish with chips on top, sandwiches (carefully labeled bologna, cheese and Miracle Whip),two or three corn dishes, two or three baked bean dishes, another lasagna, some kind of rice with cheese, a seven layer dip with tortilla chips – you could go on for a while labeling what is there.

But the common denominator of it all is that it was prepared at home and brought to this dinner in love. It was brought to feed others. It was brought with the hope that there wouldn’t be much to take home.

There are some dishes that people look forward to each month. Sister so and so’s beans, brother whatever’s meatloaf. There are things that people really look forward to. There are things they do not and tend to shun. There are things that come back again and again with the hope that this time someone will eat them.

It was all made, though, again with the common desire to feed others. The interesting thing is that unless it is a small church or you paid attention to who put it out there, you don’t know who brought it.

You fill your plate with a little of as many things as you can. Your dinner is a literal potpourri of different flavors and different textures, different taste and ingredients, different skills of cooking.

But it all comes with the single binding agent of having been made with love and put out on a table with 40 other dishes.

What a dinner. And then dessert.

What a way to be a Christian.

daily java

Daily Java:

After examining the affected spot, the priest will put the article in quarantine for seven days. (Leviticus 13:50)

This verse doesn’t really have anything to do with this article, but it seemed to fit.

The past few weeks I have been dropping stuff on my shirt. And I hate it. That means I always walk around looking like an idiot, some kind of mental reject.

Top it off with the fact that I am growing a beard right now and I look bad. Give me a pair of shorts and flip flops and I just look pathetic. A homeless man, schlepping along in his stained shirt and unshaven jowls.

(Older people have jowls. Younger people have jaws. In case you are interested.)

Friday we went to Columbia to the mall. We stopped and had lunch at a convenience store that sells good cheddar jalapeno sausages. We sat under a tree and ate our lunch. And sure as the world, a large glop of mayonnaise fell on my red t shirt.

So here was a big stain. When we got to the mall, the first place I went was JCPenney’s. They have a tall and big men’s shop and had pocket t shirts like the one I was wearing for about $5 on sale. I got one that was raspberry, a manly color. I put it on and we were set.

But the thing is, Ella went to wash clothes. And every shirt of mine had something on it. I have never been a sloppy person, but lately, things find their way onto my shirts and it makes it hard on both me (to wear stained clothing) and Ella (to make stained clothing unstained).

And I will not wear a shirt if it is stained. Will not. I have enough problems with self-image as it is without having to wear stained shirts, shirts with remnants of past culinary indiscretions.

That is the good thing about Hawaiian shirts. They will hide a lot.

I was talking to the church music director this morning, Kathy, and she suggested maybe I could analyze why I drop stuff on my shirts on my blog.

So here goes. I eat something, it falls off my fork or out of my sandwich and lands on my shirt.

Analysis over. I know why. I just do not know why now out of my whole life.

But so it goes. I have taken to wearing a bib (napkin tucked into my shirt, not one of those I Love Mommy ones), but I always feel like some kind of weirdo.

But I feel less like a weirdo than I do when I start out the day with a spot.

The other day, I was sitting in the front yard and a bird flew over me and pooped on my shirt. Go figure. Not even always my fault.

all of a sudden jesus was there

That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord!  (John 20:19-20)

The apostles were scared. It had not been a good week.

They really didn’t know what to do. They were just caught in the moment and had a lot of trouble adjusting to the whole thing. A couple of weeks ago, they had been apostles and Jesus was hanging around with them. Now they were fugitives and Jesus was dead.

They had heard that Jesus had risen from the dead, and for some reason he had appeared to one of the women, not to them. But they just couldn’t be sure.

They were having another of those long, interminable discussions that they had at times. Everybody was pontificating and trying to be in charge. Nobody was really happy. They were all in all really just scared.

Then one of them looked up and –wham! There was Jesus standing there looking at them like he did: kind of an amused, tolerant, loving look, a look that was all his.

Hey, somebody hollered. Look! They all looked around and then they all saw him. He was standing in that relaxed way he had, a look of being in charge without being arrogant about it.

It startled the fire out of them. Even though they had been hoping he would come, really, the last person they expected to see was him.

But there he was. At first, they were just startled and some of them started hollering for lack of anything else to do.

Then they realized it really was him. It was Jesus. And he was alive and he looked so good. The last time they had seen him, he was bloody and beaten and dead. Now here he was, alive and clean and almost shining. He looked good.

He said, Peace be with you, the same thing he said each time he saw them. He held out his hands and showed them the holes, along with his feet.

When they realized it was him, they were overjoyed. What was he going to do? Was he going to stay, would he keep on preaching, would he make them all special beings like himself? What would he do?

They didn’t know, but they were surely excited. One of them commented that they sure wished Thomas was here

an unfair contest between God and the devil

In the book of Job, there is a contest between God and the devil. The devil tells God that Job, a faithful man, is only faithful because God blesses him. God says to the devil, take away everything he has, stopping only at  the point of death, and Job will still be faithful.

It is an unfair contest, one that God ultimately wins. Even after Job has lost all his family, all his wealth and all of his considerable social standing, he still worships God. The devil loses.

At the end, God returns to Job all of his wealth and standing, and gives him new children to replace those who died in the test.

There was only one problem. Job wasn’t aware there was a test. All he saw was his life falling apart and the loss of his children, along with everything else. It was, as I said, unfair. Yes, Job passed with flying colors, but at such cost.

Job rails against God. Tell me why, he cries out. Tell me what I did wrong and I will show you that you are wrong. His “friends” come and tell him again and again that he obviously sinned because God only punishes sinner, not righteous people.

It is a nightmare that probably lasted for a few years.

At the end of it, God tells Job – nothing. Not a thing. No explanation, nothing. What he says, in essence, is I am God and can do what I want. Job accepts this because of the kind of man he was. And things go back to normal.

Except that his beloved children are gone, his wife is hurt almost beyond reclamation, his friends see a God who does whatever he wants to do no matter how you have tried to serve him.

But the one thing God never does is condemn Job for complaining. He just tells him that this is the way things are and that is it. He is God and made the world and can work as he wants.

Job accepts it.

But it was not fair. Yes, Job got back all his stuff and more, it says. He also got back more children. But the first children were killed in quite a horrible accident and they will never be back. He will bear their loss the rest of his life.

He will also bear the fact that his God turned on him to make a bet with the devil.

Because no matter how you put it, God did. Yes, God is God. He ‘wills and works according to his good measure.” Yes, he is the Alpha and Omega, the First and Last, the Beginning and the End. Yes, he is Lord.

And quite frankly, any God that you can predict is not a real God. A real God is one who is unpredictable, one who is far, far greater than you can imagine. Otherwise, he is like the old Greek and Roman gods who were just great big people.

And you have to recognize that there is a capriciousness in God that can be uncomfortable. No matter how long you have served him, nor how hard you have tried to be what he wants, he will still allow bad things to happen to you.

Yes, he may care for you and see you and number the hairs on your head. But he will also allow one of his loving children to contract a debilitating disease that serves no purpose and brings 24/7 pain.

And there is no reason why.

That is the worst part. If we had sinned, that would be one thing. But for those who are simple worshippers to have things happen that are beyond belief is hard to accept.

For those who have served him for years to be cast aside is hard to accept. For those who love him to be ignored is hard to accept.

And the worst part is, I have seen the righteous forsaken and his seed begging for bread. At least I have seen them homeless, without the basic needs of transportation and medicine.

And I do not know why.

Yet, I say, as Job did, I know that my Redeemer lives and cares for me. he is still my God, even though he has disappointed me.

love is the center of all we do

Let love be your greatest aim; nevertheless, ask also for the special abilities the Holy Spirit gives, and especially the gift of prophecy, being able to preach the messages of God. (1 Corinthians 14:1)

Love is the center of all we do. But there is more that God will give us.

God gives us love. It comes from him, because he is the Source of all love. He is, in fact, love. 1 John 4 tells us that. So there is no real way to have real love in your life without having him.

You might have a simulacrum of love, something that looks like it. After all, the image of God is so pervasive in this universe that you would see ghosts of him everywhere. This universe was built by love and on love, so it stands to reason love will be in it everywhere.

Boys will love girls, parents will love children and vice-versa – there will be love in all aspects of life. But it is not the real thing. It is just reflected love.

Without God, all you have is reflected love. You don’t have real love inside if you do not have God inside.

But when you get the love of God inside, what do you do with it? He doesn’t give us his love just so we can sit around and be happy. He gives it to us so we can enjoy it first of all and share it with others second.

That is the problem with the over emphasis of tongues. They are a private thing, something you do between you and God. As Paul says later in this chapter, tongues don’t really do anybody any good except you. You talk to God and he understands you and that is good.

But how do tongues bring anyone else to the Lord? They don’t.

Paul says that if you want something useful, want prophecy. Yes, tongues are good and he mentions that he speaks in tongues as much as anybody, but it is prophecy, or preaching, that brings people to Jesus.

You want something useful, want prophecy. If you really want to be an effective child of God, desire the ability to tell others about Jesus. That is the gift that brings others into the kingdom.

daily java

Daily Java:

Then the Lord asked Satan, “Have you considered my servant, Job. He is the finest man in all the earth – a good man who fears God and will have nothing to do with evil.” “Why shouldn’t he, when you pay him so well?” Satan scoffed. (Job 1:8-9)

To some, there is always a mitigating factor. They would do something if only they were rewarded as well as someone else they notice.

In the beginning, satan was one of the angels of God. We are not sure of the relationship or who it all happened, but this we know: once he stood before God. And if Job is any indication of anything beyond just a morality tale, he may still do so.

But like a lot of people who are annoyed that they have not done better, he complained to God.

God said, look at Job. He is a good man. Satan said, sure he is. You pay him well. Pay me well and I would be good, too.

Of course, God had paid him well, giving him all that heaven had to offer in a literal, physical sense. He was an angel, with all the privileges attendant to such an office.

But he lost it through greed. He wanted more. And now he is again, wanting more.

Sure, I would be holy, righteous, happy, fulfilled, if you would give me stuff like you gave Job.

The Lord knew that it was not the stuff that Job served him for. It was Job’s love for God. But satan was so full of his own greed, he couldn’t see that.

When satan took everything away, Job still worshiped. When God pointed that out, Job’s response: Well, of course. Don’t make me sick and I’d serve too.

Patently false, but satan’s way of thinking. Reward me and I will serve. I rewarded you and you turned, says God. Well, reward me again and I would probably start again.

It is always about what have you done for me lately. No backstory, no memory of what had come before, just give me now.

Ingratitude is one of the worst things we can do, whether to God or each other. Taking what has been offered as one’s due rather than a gift, forgetting what has been done in the past, greed for more. All these kill a relationship.

They sure killed the one between satan and God, for sure. And they will kill any between us, too.

here is a real anomaly in my life

Here is a real anomaly in my life. I cannot figure it out. And it has contributed to the ending of my ministry.

The Lord gave me a heart for the Kingdom and put me in narrow minded churches who only see themselves.
The Lord gave me a love of the modern and put me in churches that worship the old.
The Lord gave me a love of hospitality and put me in churches where the pastor is disconnected from the church.
The Lord gave me a love of teaching and put me in churches that only want to listen to preaching.
The Lord gave me a love for youth and put me in churches full of old people.
The Lord gave me a love of progressivism and put me in churches that worship tradition.
The Lord gave me a love of new ideas and put me in churches that only want to listen to old ideas.
The Lord gave me a thirst for knowledge and put me in churches where they feel they know all they need to know.

Why am I where I am? Why has the Lord put these things in me and put me somewhere that I cannot use them?

daily java

Daily Java:

Our bodies have many parts, but the many parts make up only one body when they are all put together. So it is with the :body” of Christ. Each of  us is a part of the one body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves and some are free. But the Holy Spirit has fitted us all together into one body. We have been baptized into Christ’s body by the one Spirit, and have all been given that same Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:12-13 LB)

In the church, we fit together.

I have always said and I still believe it, that God has put into each church those parts of the body that are needed to make that church grow. Now people may not use them, or acknowledge that they are there. But they are.

It stands to reason that a God big enough to speak light into existence is also big enough to make a church grow.

The problem comes when people will not acknowledge their gifts. They do not want to do whatever it is that God gave them.

Maybe they want to do something else, or don’t want to do anything at all. But when they refuse to do what God has given them to do, they will never be blessed in their lives. It is only through obedience to him that we are really blessed.

Of course, some churches have destroyed that relationship God has with them by constant fighting and division. In those cases, it is better that the church die and start again than continue.

A church can get these bad things into its spiritual DNA so that any time they get any size, they will come into an argument or power struggle. When that happens, they break up again.

God will never bless a church that tears or breaks apart that holy structure, and he will never bless people who do so.

The church might get big for a while, but underneath it all is that unholy root of division, or desire for power, and sooner or later it will come out.

It is like building a skyscraper on a fault line. Sooner or later the fault line will shift and the building will come down.

That is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 7 when he told his people to pay attention to God. Those who paid attention, he said, were like those who built their buildings on solid ground. When the storms of life came – and they will – the building would stand firm.

Those who built their buildings on shaky ground, sand he called it, would have nothing but destruction for their trouble. The sand, the shaky ground is the bitterness, division, church politics, those who desire power to the point that they will destroy the church.

A church with those attributes is at odds with the fruits of the Spirit and cannot grow for long. Again, sooner or later, it will have something happen to it.

No church founded off a church split has grown for long. It may get big and look exciting, but there is cancer at the base. It will come out one day.

When we work together, we do what God wants and we honor him. And the Spirit works in us.

daily java

Daily Java:

For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. (Philippians 1:20-22)

There does come a point in your life when you get tired and are ready to be through. It is not that you seek death, or anything weird like that, but you just are through.

That is what happened to John, the apostle, when he said at the end of the book of Revelation: He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!” .Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!
He was ready. He was old and tired and just ready.

And I think that sometimes myself. I am solidly in my 60’s now and have stuff wrong with me. Just general stuff, of course, not cancer or the like. At least, I don’t think so. But then again, sometimes Ella looks at me oddly. Maybe she knows something I don’t.

Anyway, I am probably fine. But I am also at the point that if God took me, I would be glad.

The only problem is that my wife would be alone. I also would not have any more chances to witness to my son and my grandson. I would not be able to help Pastor Mel understand hard passages of scripture and show him the other hand.

The thing is, leaving my own wonderful and valuable indispensability behind, there are things I need to do. For one thing I would leave my wife and who would lift her scooter into and out of the car? I am our primary cook, so she would end up eating junk or –blecch – frozen dinners.

I would not be there for my son or to see my grandson, Brody, grow up. I would rather give him stuff than have him inherit them. I’d like to watch his eyes when I give him my broadsword, or the other stuff I plan to unload – I mean bestow on him.

Other people I would not be able to touch if I were dead.

That is what the apostle Paul was talking about. There were people he wanted to touch, to teach, to talk to. Places he wanted to see. Ideas he wanted to pursue.

And he couldn’t do it if he were gone. All he would be would be happy in the presence of Jesus in heaven.

I don’t know. That doesn’t sound so bad, though. But I know how he felt.